Rising Above the Fray

by Michelle Lindblom

Hozho

Hozho – a concept found in Navajo Native American culture. This idea references the interconnectedness between beauty, harmony and goodness in all things physical and spiritual. Resulting in health and well being for all things and beings.

In education, Hozho is a construct that asks the learner to embrace their surroundings, actions, interactions and their being. In addition, focuses on spirituality and self awareness, being a part of the universe.

A strive for balance.

Walking in Her Beauty.

As my daughter struggles with her substance use disorder, she is on a continual journey, opening up and feeling the underlying beauty of her experiences. With each relapse, obstacle, loss, trying days in recovery and self discovery, she is recognizing the hopeful prospects of how learning to manage her anxieties, depression, and trauma empower her to rise above the fray.

Embracing those lived experiences as vital to her being, allows her to walk in the beauty that is her life. She is becoming part of the universe and striking her balance.

As I Rise

Writing about addiction and mental health issues from the perspective of an artist and parent has become a positive coping mechanism for me. Using words as my voice continues to be a necessary and natural transition. Mainly because of my personal experience through my daughter and those she has met along her journey.

When meeting my daughter’s friends and acquaintances, I am always humbled. They are working through their addiction, mental illness and striving for balance in their lives. All these folks have stories to tell about how they came into their substance use disorders. Personal narratives that I could have never imagined in my wildest nightmares.

My heart aches when I think of how they have all struggled. In addition, I have lost count of the number of my daughter’s friends I have met, no longer walking on this physical earth. I feel an emptiness within and empathize with my daughter’s feeling of loss.

Pain and suffering is a part of life. If we are able to move through it, we can reach a higher level of humanity and empathy toward ourselves and others, as we offer guidance, strength and love.

Just as my daughter, I am striving for balance and learning to walk in the beauty that is my life.

The Universe Guides Us

Recent global events are revealing truths that have always existed about disparities among and within us. Truths that continue to be denied, unheard and unchecked. We are exhibiting deeply engrained emotions, beliefs and realities that we’ve been either too preoccupied to confront or refused to acknowledge still exist. History continues to repeat itself and we seem to be none the wiser.

Balance alludes us. Hozho seems difficult to obtain.

The responses and behavioral changes on the other side of these crises will be varied. Our mental state of mind during and after may largely depend on how we entered into all that is currently happening.

If people were in a basic survival state of mind, living day to day, moment by moment, these crises may be business as usual. Being experienced in not knowing what your next day will bring, may be the best modus operandi. For those close to the edge, feeling voiceless and hopeless, these events may break them completely.

There will be folks who strive for peaceful assistance from others. Those who lash out in anger, seek revenge and claim victimhood. And those who will wallow in self pity or fall off the radar, never to return.

Events such as these often move people toward a stronger desire and sense of duty to connect with the broader community getting beyond their bubble. This is where Hozho is attainable and possibly sustainable.

Real Life for those in Addiction

For people in addiction, the pandemic and social unrest mirrors the daily existence of someone with a substance use disorder. If my daughter felt behind the eight ball before all this, she may be feeling that eight ball in her throat now. The normal safety nets available during her recovery are not there. AA/NA, counselors, therapists have been virtual. Stay at home orders, city curfews and lockdowns, joblessness, financial stresses, societal anxiety, isolation, all add fuel to the internal fires of addiction.

Isolation can be a death sentence for those in addiction and recovery. They absolutely need to be part of their tribe. I have been to enough of my daughter’s meetings to witness the camaraderie and love that exists between those in attendance.

It can be and often is their life line.

Finding Self as a Life Line

A pandemic silver lining is that life slowed down, forcing many of us to sit still and ponder our daily existence. Add to that social unrest, and we are uncomfortably asked to go deeper. What is of real value in our lives? What are our beliefs? What should stay, what should go? Our usual routines, some robotic, come conscious, have been thrown to the winds of physical distancing and curfew rules.

My daughter forced to view herself as her own potential life line because the usual connections have been put on hold. She has begun to practice Hozho. Beginning to feel the interconnectedness of her physical and spiritual self in relation to the simplicity and beauty that surrounds her.

I know this because of recent conversations we’ve had about how the universe provides us opportunities to go deeper. Prompting us to delve into our understanding of what we value right now.

A re-evaluation.

Real Life as an Artist

During any global, regional or individual crisis, work does not stop for me. There are periods of overwhelm and physical inactivity. But my subconscious mind never takes a break.

My subconscious continues to provoke personal narratives. Stories prompted or inspired by the past and present. Oftentimes the stories ruminate within before they are released to the canvas or the page.

I am one of those folks that lives day to day. Flexibility plays a more prominent role, especially now. See blog “Outside My Window”.

Much of my life has been spent adapting to change. Because I learned early on that little that can be controlled and certainly not what happens outside my bubble.

Retreating from all the noise and getting to a more nonviolent and reflective place is good for the soul. This is not easy. Yet, a sense of peace emerges when seeking the truth no matter what the outcome.

Finding truth in reflection through the colors, shapes, textures, movements I consciously and subconsciously create is what my work is about. The story lines to my work reveal themselves. My Hozho.

Image: “Landscape Revelations”, acrylic 12″ x 12″. I chose this image because I see the layers of colors, textures, movement, shapes representing the intricacies and complexities of life. This seems to work together in harmony, in Hozho. They become the landscape of our lives. The revelations we encounter each day as we allow the universe to be our guide.

Michelle Lindblom Studio

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